I'm no cactus expert, but I know a PRICK when I see one WYS-114 UNISEX

You bring the alcohol, I'll bring THE BAD DECISIONS WYS-93 UNISEX

Shutting the F*CK UP is gluten free. Add that to your STUPID DIET WYS-87 UNISEX

I'm sorry, what language are you speaking? It sounds like total BULLSH!T WYS-52 UNISEX

All the things I like to do are either ILLEGAL, IMMORAL or FATTENING WYS-43 UNISEX

I suck at APOLOGIES, SO UNF*CK YOU WYS-34 UNISEX

SEEN it all, DONE it all, CAN'T REMEMBER SH!T WYS-32 UNISEX

JESUS loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an A$$HOLE WYS-28 UNISEX

Sometimes I tell myself the jail time isn't worth it WYS-10 UNISEX

You are about to EXCEED the limits of my MEDICATION WYS-153 UNISEX

I'm not saying I HATE YOU, BUT I'd unplug your LIFE SUPPORT to charge MY PHONE WYS-152 UNISEX

I'd rather be home with My DOG WYS-128 UNISEX

Forget the dogs, WHO LET THE IDIOTS OUT? WYS-126 UNISEX

I just asked myself if I'm CRAZY and we said NO. WYS-122 UNISEX

The more people I meet, the MORE I like my dog WYS-110 UNISEX

Money doesn't BUY happiness, unless you spend it on WINE WYS-94 UNISEX

While you are STABBING me in the back KISS my A$$ TOO WYS-53 UNISEX

I haven't always been this ANGRY and SARCASTIC It's taken YEARS WYS-49 UNISEX

My Mom didn't raise a DUMMY, and if she did IT WAS MY BROTHER WYS-155 UNISEX

I IDENTIFY as a THREAT. My pronouns are TRY / ME WYS-154 UNISEX

Whoever Said MONEY Can't Buy Happiness, NEVER PAID for a Divorce WYS-140 UNISEX

Dear Karma, I have a list of people you MISSED WYS-125 UNISEX

If you don't like the way I do things, FEEL FREE to MIND YOUR F*CKING BUSINESS WYS-81 UNISEX

I F*CKING SWEAR because I F*CKING CARE WYS-75 UNISEX

Easy like a SUNDAY MORNING WYS-71 UNISEX

YOU should be happy that I'm not a TWIN WYS-64 UNISEX

I'm not fat I'm just so F*CKING SEXY it OVERFLOWS WYS-55 UNISEX

Go F*CK Yourself WYS-11 UNISEX

In my Defense, they left me UNSUPERVISED WYS-08 UNISEX

COFFEE spelled backwards is EEFFOC, as I don't give EEFFOC until I had my COFFEE WYS-157 UNISEX

I've done TERRIBLE things for MONEY. Like getting up early to go to work. WYS-149 UNISEX

THE ANSWER IS NO! Now, what was your question? WYS-145 UNISEX

No Need to Repeat Yourself. I IGNORED YOU JUST FINE the First Time. WYS-143 UNISEX

I NEED A 6 MONTH VACATION TWICE A YEAR WYS-139 UNISEX

True Friends Don't Judge Each Other, THEY JUDGE OTHERS...Together WYS-138 UNISEX

STRESSED Spelled Backwards is DESSERTS WYS-137 UNISEX

She's a GOOD GIRL, LOVES HER MAMA, LOVES JESUS and AMERICA TOO WYS-127 UNISEX

Life is too SHORT to work with A$$HOLES WYS-98 UNISEX

LESS Friends, LESS Drama. KEEP your circle small. WYS-79 UNISEX

People like YOU are the REASON we have MIDDLE FINGERS WYS-76 UNISEX